The Thief of Joy: How the Gospel Defeats Comparison
I was probably nine years old, sitting on the glider in front of my grandparents’ gas station. We sort of grew up there; our grandparents were our sitters during afternoons and summers while our parents worked. My sister glided beside me while we snacked and chatted. And then it happened—a memory almost fifty years old now, but etched forever in my mind.
An older man walked up to the store and saw us there. He said to my sister, “You just a little string bean.” Then he turned and looked at me, “And you a little porky pig.”
That day began the comparison trap–the stealer of joy in my little heart. With just two years between us, we were always together growing up and often compared to one another. But that day was the first time it occurred to me that I did not measure up to expectations. She was thin and pretty; I was short and chunky.
Oh, how I wish I could go back now and tell my nine-year-old self that my worth was not in my weight or my looks. If I could show her God’s Word and His unchanging love for her that did not depend on her outward appearance or social skills or talents or intellect but solely on His character, maybe she could have navigated the coming teenage years with security and peace.
Yet, it happens to so many of us, and even more so now in our social media-addicted society. Every gathering involves photos that must be posted, or it didn’t happen. Every update to our homes or date night with our husbands or vacation with our kids must be curated and showcased. Even our quiet time or serving must be photographed and shared.
Every post seeks to measure our value in how we compare ourselves to others. So, we starve to be thin or waste our time and money on the latest pill, injection, or cream to create the image of ourselves we think will make us matter.
And in doing so, we allow the enemy to steal the joy right out of life. Comparison is the thief of joy, as the saying goes, and it’s so true. We compare our homes, our kids, our bodies, our marriages, even our spiritual lives (“she reads her Bible more than I do”). Whether the comparison leads us toward envy and despair or toward pride and superiority, it still draws us away from God. And the time and attention we spend in our efforts to not fall short distract us from the pursuit of what will bring us the greatest joy—God!
The comparison trap is a tactic of the enemy to keep our focus on ourselves. But the gospel frees us from his trick. The truth is that we all stand before the cross equally in need of a Savior, and what He offers us is a million times better than what pride inspires in us.
Pride leads us to desire to be the most beautiful or have the best kids or the envious marriage or the nicest homes and vacations or be the smartest or most spiritual person in the room. Pride wants everyone to look at us or need us or want to be like us. But what pride promises is destruction because it clouds our judgment and hardens our hearts.
The gospel is the good news that Jesus died to save us from our sin of pride and instead fill us with His Spirit of love and goodness and grace–and humility that considers others better than ourselves. Why is that good news? Because it frees us from the destructive trap of constantly comparing ourselves and fills the emptiness with joy instead.
We are complete in Christ.
“…and in Christ you have been brought to fullness. He is the head over every power and authority” (Colossians 2:10, NIV).
In Him, we have all that we need.
“His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness” (2 Peter 1:3).
And I love David’s testimony about his lot in life:
“Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup;
you make my lot secure.
The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
surely I have a delightful inheritance” (Psalm 16:5-6).
Contentment is a beautiful thing because it recognizes that we have all we need in Christ, and nothing can take that away from us.
But contentment must be learned and practiced.
“I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:12b-13).
Paul had to go through both scarcity and plenty to learn the secret of contentment. The secret is Jesus. When we have Him, all else fades in comparison. There is no perfect body, marriage, kids, home, or even Christian on this earth. But we have a perfect Savior!
I have learned that joy makes me beautiful. Peace makes me content. Humility makes me think more highly of others. Love makes me want to see others succeed. If I focus on Jesus and growing in my faith, not only do I lose sight of all the ways the enemy wants me to compare myself to others, but I don’t have time to worry over those things anyway.
So, the gospel invites us to trade our despair over falling short and our arrogance over thinking we’re better, and to rest in the contentment of knowing Christ Jesus our Lord. And that’s a delightful inheritance indeed.
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