The Comparison Trap That’s Stealing Your Calling
Rachel watched as her sister Leah was given in marriage to Jacob first, despite Jacob’s love for her. Later, as Leah bore child after child while Rachel remained barren, we can almost feel the weight of comparison crushing Rachel’s heart. “Give me children, or I shall die!” she cried to Jacob in Genesis 30:1, her pain spilling over into desperate demand.
But here’s what’s remarkable about Rachel’s story: even in her struggle with comparison and envy, God had a unique plan for her life. She would eventually bear Joseph and Benjamin—sons who would play crucial roles in God’s redemptive story. Her worth wasn’t determined by how quickly she bore children compared to her sister, but by God’s sovereign timing and purpose for her life.
Rachel’s story resonates across the centuries because comparison is one of humanity’s oldest struggles. And unfortunately, it’s become easier than ever to fall into this trap in our social media-saturated world, where we’re constantly confronted with curated glimpses of everyone else’s highlight reels.
The Deadly Lie Behind Comparison
At the heart of every comparison lies a deadly spiritual lie: that our worth and calling are determined by how we measure up to others rather than by God’s sovereign choice and design.
When we compare our ministry, our gifts, our impact, or our spiritual growth to someone else’s, we’re essentially saying that God made a mistake when He created us with our unique combination of experiences, personality, and calling. We’re suggesting that He should have made us more like someone else instead of exactly who He designed us to be.
This isn’t just harmful to our self-esteem—it’s a subtle form of rebellion against God’s perfect plan and design for our lives.
Why Comparison Is Especially Dangerous for Christian Women
As Christian women, we face unique challenges when it comes to comparison:
1. The “Good Christian Woman” Standard
Social media presents us with an endless parade of women who seem to have it all together spiritually. They post beautiful Scripture graphics, share profound insights, lead ministries, and appear to have perfect families who love Jesus. Against this backdrop, our own struggles with doubt, parenting challenges, and ordinary spiritual growth can feel inadequate.
But here’s the truth: those curated online personas don’t represent the full reality of anyone’s life. Everyone struggles. Everyone has seasons of doubt. Everyone has areas where they’re still growing. The difference is that most people don’t post about their failures, fears, or ordinary Tuesday afternoons.
2. The Ministry Comparison Game
In ministry circles, comparison can be particularly toxic. We compare:
- The size of our platforms to others’
- The eloquence of our teaching to others’
- The dramatic nature of our testimonies to others’
- The success of our books, blogs, or ministries to others’
- The number of people we’ve influenced to others’
This kind of comparison not only steals our joy but can actually hinder our effectiveness. When we’re focused on what others are doing, we’re not fully present to what God is calling us to do.
3. The Calling Confusion
Perhaps most dangerously, comparison can make us question or abandon the specific calling God has placed on our lives. We see someone else’s success and think, “Maybe I should be doing what she’s doing instead.” Or we see someone else’s gifts and think, “I’ll never be as good as her, so why bother trying?”
This is exactly what the enemy wants—for us to be so focused on others’ callings that we neglect our own.
The Spiritual Roots of Comparison
To truly overcome comparison, we need to understand its spiritual roots:
Pride in Disguise
Often, what we think is humble self-deprecation (“I’m not as good as her”) is actually pride in disguise. We’re so focused on ourselves—our performance, our reputation, our success—that we can’t see beyond our own reflection to serve others or glorify God.
True humility isn’t thinking less of ourselves; it’s thinking of ourselves less.
Lack of Trust in God’s Sovereignty
When we constantly compare ourselves to others, we’re revealing that we don’t fully trust God’s sovereignty over our lives. We’re essentially saying, “God, I know You say You have plans for me, but I think You gave her better plans.”
Fear-Based Living
Comparison often stems from fear—fear that we’re not enough, fear that we’ll be forgotten, fear that our lives won’t matter. But “God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and sound mind” (2 Timothy 1:7).
The Freedom Found in Your Unique Calling
Here’s the beautiful truth that comparison tries to steal from us: God designed you with your exact combination of experiences, personality, gifts, and circumstances because the world needs what only you can offer.
Your Story Matters
Your testimony doesn’t have to be the most dramatic to be powerful. Sometimes the most impactful stories are the quiet ones—the testimonies of God’s faithfulness in ordinary circumstances, His grace in everyday struggles, His love in mundane moments.
The woman who overcame addiction has a powerful story, but so does the woman who learned to trust God through years of infertility. The woman who helped plant a church has an important testimony, but so does the woman who faithfully taught Sunday school for thirty years.
Your People Are Waiting
There are people in your sphere of influence who need to hear exactly what God has taught you, in exactly the way you would share it. Your personality, your way of explaining things, your particular insights—these aren’t accidents. They’re part of how God designed you to serve others.
Your Obedience, Not Your Success
God doesn’t call us to be successful by worldly standards; He calls us to be faithful. Your job is to steward the gifts, experiences, and calling He’s given you. The results are His responsibility.
Practical Steps to Break Free from Comparison
1. Limit Social Media Consumption
If social media consistently triggers comparison for you, it’s time to set boundaries. Consider:
- Unfollowing accounts that consistently make you feel inadequate
- Setting specific times for social media rather than mindless scrolling
- Taking regular social media breaks
- Focusing on encouraging others online rather than self-promotion
2. Practice Gratitude for Others’ Success
When you see someone else succeeding in an area where you’d like to grow, instead of allowing envy to take root, practice genuine gratitude. Thank God for what He’s doing through that person, and ask Him to help you celebrate others’ victories rather than viewing them as competition.
3. Focus on Your Own Growth
Keep a journal of how God is working in your life, the lessons He’s teaching you, and the ways you’re growing. When you’re tempted to compare your progress to others’, look back at how far you’ve come in your own journey.
4. Seek Wise Counsel
Find a mentor or trusted friend who can help you gain perspective when comparison threatens to derail your calling. Sometimes we need others to remind us of our unique gifts and calling when we can’t see them clearly ourselves.
5. Remember Your Why
Regularly remind yourself why you feel called to write, teach, minister, or serve. When your motivation is rooted in love for God and others rather than personal achievement, comparison loses much of its power.
Moving Forward in Freedom
As we journey together through this month’s focus on moving from comparison to contentment, I want to encourage you with this truth: God’s calling on your life is not a consolation prize. It’s not what He gave you because someone else got the “better” calling. It’s His perfect, intentional design for your unique contribution to His kingdom.
Your story matters. Your voice matters. Your calling matters.
Don’t let comparison steal another day of walking in the freedom and purpose God designed specifically for you.
A Prayer for Freedom from Comparison
Father, forgive me for the times I’ve looked at others’ callings and wished You had given me something different. Help me to trust Your sovereignty over my life and to see my unique gifts and experiences as treasures rather than limitations. Give me the courage to step into the calling You’ve placed on my life, regardless of how it compares to others’. Help me to celebrate others’ successes without feeling diminished by them. Show me how to steward the story and gifts You’ve given me for Your glory and others’ good. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
If God has given you a story to share, check out my new course, Manuscript to Ministry and discover how to steward your gift for His glory.