That Times of Refreshing May Come
I sat on the couch in the dark, coffee in hand, but anxiety and bitterness in my heart. I wanted to feel God’s presence. I desired to overcome the deep tiredness in my body and in my soul. I cried out to God as I came, just like every other morning, to seek Him — driven more by habit than holiness, but coming nonetheless.
I have recently been in a season of quiet. Not depression but more like just not feeling myself, going through the motions, not experiencing the delight and passion for God that I used to have, struggling to understand what God wants from me and frustrated that I don’t seem to be hearing His voice or sensing His direction. That hollow feeling when you’ve done everything right and still feel nothing.
Kind of empty.
Then my New Testament reading and studying I’m doing this year brought me to Acts. And as I read, my spirit began to perk up. The words began to stir something and my heart came alive. These events in Acts actually happened. Men — and women — experienced the power and presence of the Almighty, and people were saved, healed, and delivered.
As I read, I was reminded that the Holy Spirit is here, in me, and in the lives of believers around me. He has not changed. He is the same Spirit of Christ who moved among the disciples in the early church. I began praying and asking God to show me what was going on in me. I just felt so dry. And then I read these words of Peter in a powerful sermon at Solomon’s Colonnade:
“’Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord…’” (Acts 3:19, NIV).
I so wanted that refreshing! The Lord began to show me that I was carrying offense toward Him because of difficult and frustrating circumstances in my life. I felt physically exhausted, emotionally unregulated, and spiritually empty because I couldn’t sense God’s direction for my life. And I was inwardly bitter because I knew God had the power to change it all, but He didn’t.
As I read these Scriptures, I noted how often the disciples were challenged, rejected, opposed, and persecuted. And yet they not only persevered, they did so with joy, considering it a privilege to suffer for His name. They didn’t always know where they were going as they ministered, but they were on mission with God, and it was an adventure!
I repented immediately, and I must tell you, I experienced such a refreshing of my soul. God met me spiritually, and then He began to show me practical things too — my body was dehydrated, my sleep was suffering. Sometimes refreshing is physical as much as spiritual.
I sense I am not the only one who struggles with hearing from God or offense toward God or feeling spiritually empty. Just because I write books or teach doesn’t mean I have it all together all of the time. Just because I teach how to position ourselves to hear from God doesn’t mean I can demand His timetable.
I am still learning and growing in my walk with Christ. Sometimes things I learned a long time ago, I regress in and have to learn them all over again. But because I have made it a habit to spend time with God every day, I keep coming back to Him and His Word, and He speaks! Even when I don’t feel like it. Even when I have doubts. Even when I am not myself.
I still don’t have all the answers. I’m not sure what the next year or decade holds for Kenneth and me. But I know the One who does know and who holds the future, and He is holding me. Peter promised that times of refreshing come from the Lord. I believe mine is beginning. And if you’ve been sitting in your own season of emptiness, I believe yours can too.
As we step into June, I’m stepping in with a refreshed heart and a month of content I can’t wait to share with you. Join us this month as we explore what it means to live From Empty to Empowered. I’ll be in your inbox every Monday.