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How to Love People You Don’t Like

February 15, 2022 By Jennifer H. Yates

15 Feb
How to Love People You Don't Like

Do you know someone you really don’t like? Maybe they hurt you in the past, or maybe they are arrogant or manipulative or just annoying. According to Jesus, we’re called to love everyone, right?

Jesus didn’t put qualifiers on whom we should love. When we surrender our lives to His Lordship, we give up our right to follow our own way.

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.”

John 13:34, NIV

But let’s face it: we just don’t like everybody. Some people are hard to love.

How to Love People You Don’t Like

Jesus encountered this very issue as recorded in Luke 10:25-37. A teacher of the law decided to test Jesus. Jesus had been teaching that all the law and the prophets could be summed up in the commands to love God with all our heart, soul, strength, and mind, and to love our neighbor as ourselves.

So Mr. Law Expert piped up with, “And who is my neighbor?” Jesus responded with the story of the Good Samaritan, a man who came alongside a Jewish fellow who had been robbed and left for dead, showing compassion and caring for the man.

A Jewish priest and a Levite had already passed the man by, offering no help. The interesting thing in this story is the history between the Jews and Samaritans.

“It is significant that the person Jesus commended was neither the religious leader nor the lay associate, but a hated foreigner. Jews viewed Samaritans as half-breeds, both physically and spiritually. Samaritans and Jews practiced open hostility, but Jesus asserted that love knows no national boundaries.”

(The NIV Study Bible, 1560)

Jews just didn’t like Samaritans. They thought they were better than Samaritans; even the religious leaders felt this way. Jesus had a way of shaking up everyone’s preconceived ideas of what the law was all about.

For instance, He once told His followers that they had been taught by some leaders to love their neighbor and hate their enemies, but they actually had it all wrong. God intended for them to love their enemies, too.

“If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?”

Matthew 5:45-47

Friends, Jesus didn’t let us off the hook with only loving the people we like. He said to love everyone. So how? How are we supposed to love people we really don’t like?

We need to ask ourselves why we don’t like some people in the first place. Maybe they have hurt us, and we haven’t truly forgiven them. Maybe their personality just rubs us the wrong way. Maybe we have experienced their rejection or disapproval in the past, and we fear further disgrace. Perhaps we don’t agree with their politics or lifestyle or opinions.

Whatever the reason, God is showing me that we must choose to love. Love is not a fuzzy, warm feeling. Love is deciding that we will treat someone with respect and honor, seeking to understand their perspective even if we don’t agree.

Be filled.

Several years ago, I heard a message at church that really shook me. I sat down in the pew, got out my notebook and pen, and prepared for the sermon. The preacher began with the following verse:

“No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us. We know that we live in him and he in us, because he has given us his Spirit.”

1 John 4:12-13

Guess what? We can’t love apart from the Spirit of God living in us and making His love complete in us. I don’t have it in me to love some people. When people are rude, disrespectful, or hurt us or someone we love, our human capacity to love them will always fall short of the kind of genuine love God calls us to.

We have to surrender our lives to Jesus Christ and allow the Holy Spirit to fill us with His love. Only then can we share that love with someone who has really hurt us. In other words, love is supernatural. It’s a gift of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22).

Aren’t you glad to know that God doesn’t command us to do something that He doesn’t empower us for? The key is to seek God every day in prayer, worship, and Bible study. Then our hearts and minds will be focused on the Lord and His ways. When we encounter a difficult person, we can cooperate with the Holy Spirit and allow Him to guide our thoughts, words, and actions.

Be fearless.

I’m stealing from the pastor now, but this word was the best part of that sermon. You know why I have a hard time loving some people? Because I’m afraid of being rejected, disapproved of, talked about. I’m afraid if I try to love them, they won’t love me back. Rejection is a serious issue for me.  But God has addressed that issue right here in 1 John.

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”

1 John 4:18

Bam! Just like that, the Lord set me straight. Perfect love comes only from God. So if I’m not loving some people because of my fears, then I have not fully allowed God’s love to fill me. Wow. I had to make a little trip to the altar.

Right before that verse, John shared that when we live in God and let Him live in us, His love is made complete in us. In other words, if I am living my life surrendered to Jesus, I have no reason to fear people. I am loved, accepted, and approved by the God of the universe!

Be free.

When we truly know and understand the love God has for us, we will be fearless and (again, I’m stealing from the preacher) we will be free. We will be free to worship without worrying about what others think. We will be free to share the Gospel without fear of rejection. And we’ll be free to love all people, regardless of their skin color, their social status, their attitude, their opinions. Why? Because loved people are complete.

“And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge–that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”

Ephesians 3:17b-19

Did you get that? Rooted and established in love. Grounded. Complete. God in me and me in Him. Love that surpasses knowledge. We can’t understand why God loves us. We can’t explain it. But we can rest in it.  That’s what frees us up to love even the most aggravating person we know.

Whom has God brought to your mind today?

Be filled. Be fearless. Be free. Go love.

Need more encouragement and accountability as you follow Jesus? Join our private Facebook community, Growing Your Faith.

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Filed Under: Spiritual Growth Tagged With: Bible, Bible study, Christian devotional, devotional, How to Love People You Don't Like, Jennifer H Yates, Jesus, love, love in action, loving difficult people, one thing, prayer, quiet time, quiet time devos for busy women, religion vs. relationship, seeking God, Walk in Love, worship

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Hey there, my friend

Hey there, my friend

I want you to know that you don't have to be overwhelmed, confused, or too busy to be fruitful and productive. You can be grounded in the Word and growing in your faith.

Even if you have encountered chaos, hypocrisy, legalism, or suffering. God's Word is the truth we must be grounded in to thrive and bear fruit.

I'm Jen, and I want to encourage you with practical strategies and helpful resources to grow your relationship with Jesus one intentional moment at a time. Even if all you can give right now is 15 minutes, you CAN seek Jesus and grow your faith.

Come hang out with me in my Facebook community, download some free resources, or take the FOCUSED 15 Challenge to get started.

You can get God's Word into your heart so that you can be transformed to live a life that is fruitful for the Kingdom!

Jen

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jenniferhyates

jenniferhyates
I hear from women almost daily who struggle to hav I hear from women almost daily who struggle to have daily time in God's Word.

The biggest challenge is finding the time.
The second is being able to focus.
The third is knowing where to start.

But here's the thing: If it doesn't challenge you, it won't change you.

The key to having consistent time in the Word is the desire to be changed by it.

If you KNOW you need God desperately, you will find the time, the focus, and the ability to study the Word. 

It really comes down to priorities.

And if you need a little encouragement and direction to get started, check out my FOCUSED 15 Challenge. #linktree in bio
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👉 Do you doubt your value and identity as a wom 👉 Do you doubt your value and identity as a woman?

👉 Do you long for clarity about your purpose in life?

👉 Do you wrestle to overcome fear, doubt, and insecurity?

You're not alone. In fact, the need for validation, acceptance, and approval dates all the way back to the Garden. In the Bible, we have examples of women who were just like us, who struggled with these very same issues.

Women such as Sarah, Hannah, Rahab, and the woman at the well also faced questions, doubts, and fears. But their stories teach us God's answers to the questions that nag our hearts and leave us restless.

In her new book, Just Like Us, best-selling author Jennifer Hayes Yates takes us on a guided tour through the pages of Scripture, stopping to visit each of these women and what the Lord longs to teach us through them.

In Just Like Us, you'll encounter our God's surpassing love for us. His Word overflows with the answers our hearts hunger for in this life.
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Do you consider yourself a student of God’s Word Do you consider yourself a student of God’s Word?

The English word disciple comes from the Greek word mathetes, meaning “disciple, student, follower; a committed learner and follower."

Sometimes we shy away from the word disciple (because it sounds too much like discipline) or the word student (because it sounds too much like school), but our hearts should be drawn to know and understand God’s Word.

“Do good to your servant according to your word, O LORD. Teach me knowledge and good judgment, for I believe in your commands" (Psalm 119:65-66, NIV).

Women in Jesus’ day were not allowed to go to school or learn under rabbis. They were considered unable to learn or understand the Torah, and so they were taught to take care of the home.

But Jesus countered their cultural traditions. He had many women followers (Luke 8:1-3), and He taught women, considering them capable of learning and understanding His truth (Luke 10:38-42).

Jesus affirmed women’s thirst for truth and encouraged their role as disciples.

Our roles as wives, mothers, and homemakers do not exclude our role as students of the Word. I love being a wife and mother. I love taking care of our home, providing meals (okay, I don’t really love cooking, but I do enjoy choosing healthy foods for our family), and I like decorating our space to make it cozy and inviting.

I also enjoyed many years of teaching and working outside the home. But I have really loved the opportunity to sit at Jesus’ feet as a student, to listen to His Word being preached, to study the Word for myself, to search out its meaning, and to seek to apply it in my life.

We don’t have to wait for others to spoon-feed us the Bible. And as influencers in our homes, we need to know and understand God’s truth so we can teach our children (Deuteronomy 6:4-9).

I’ll admit, there are areas of the Bible that are difficult to understand and that can cause confusion. But with a few principles to guide us, we can learn to be students of the Word.

Read the rest at jenniferhyates.com #linktree in bio.

#seekingtruth #bedeeplyrooted #growingyourfaith #groundedandgrowing #christianblogger #womenintheword #justlikeus
"But now a righteousness from God, apart from the "But now a righteousness from God, apart from the law, has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify. This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus" (Romans 3:21-24, NIV).
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Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a c Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted.

I am rewriting Let's Run, my very first book, a Bible study on Hebrews 11 and the faithful call to endure.

I'm so excited to go back through this study and add things I've learned since then. I pray it will encourage the faithful to endure to the end.
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Competition has no place in the kingdom of God. J Competition has no place in the kingdom of God.

Just think how God's kingdom could grow if we rooted for each other and encouraged one another's faith?

Paul said if you want to outdo one another, try outdoing each other in love and honor.

"Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor" (Romans 12:10, ESV).

When you encourage a sister in the Lord, both of your faiths grow. 

Let's root for each other and watch each other grow, 🌿
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